2022 in Review Tension
I didn’t change much about my portfolio this year. I’m doing better at not letting my career dictate my life, and that’s a fuzzy thing (in a warm and blurry way).
- I’m now using Atkinson Hyperlegible and Libre Baskerville. I think they look nice and are easy to read. Also dumped the monofont.
- I made some updates to my ugly CSS. There’s actually variables now.
- Changed my about picture to something less cringe.
- Made all my h1s visible.
- Deleted my logo in favor of 内藤 (my partner’s family name), which I plan to legally adopt someday so I can no longer be a Kim (I have such a weird relationship with my culture, but that's for my therapist).
- Made some resume updates, but highkey hate it (and the larger “sell yourself to survive” process which rewards a narrow definition of success). More on that later.
Why I’m feeling a little tense
I’ve used the word “tension” alot this year to describe a number of things.
- My past vs. present (whatever it is) identity (reading Permission to Come Home is helping).
- Justice in theory vs. injustice in motion.
- Community vs. imperial inertia.
- Time I feel I need to work (to survive) vs. time to rest with people I love.
- Enjoying privilege in the present vs. reckoning with trauma from the past.
- First person urgency to fix injustices now (and burn out) vs. third person (often white) advice to do the next best thing within one’s comforts (and never manage to dismantle the systems that afford those injustices to occur, just lots of little performative bandaids).
- This list can continue for a really long time.
Maybe a better summary of this is:
- I’m still trying to figure out my sense of balance, identity(ies), and goals in a deeply unjust and complex world.
- I understand more than ever how political my work as a designer is, which has heightened my sense of responsibility, my anxiety, my courage, my fear, and my passion (they all somehow co-exist at the same time).
- I’m hella burnt out, and it was good I found a new therapist. I’m still figuring this all out, and that’s still ok. I think.
Also, here's my cat, Toro. He does his darn best to support me.